10-Day Vipassana Insight Meditation Course: Dhamma Sarita, Rural Mumbai, India

July 2018

I never said it’d be easy but I promise you it will be worth it.

The mantra playing over in my head as I squirm around on my thin meditation pillow, time slowly passing me by.

My first ever 10 day Vipassana experience in a tiny rural river town near Mumbai, India.

My monkey mind is out of control.

I can’t sit still.

My knees hurt already.

All I can think about is how uncomfortable my body feels and how much I would love to go back to laying on the beach in Sri Lanka, which was the case only a few days prior.

12 hours of meditation daily for 10 days straight. No talking. No reading. No writing. No eye contact. Minimal movement in meditation time. No technology. No yoga. No exercise. No meat. No dairy. No quitting before the 10th day. No…NOTHING. Seriously?!

Why would I voluntarily sign myself up for this torturous challenge?!

For the first day, this question played over and over as I formulate an exit plan.

Resistance.

Then I stopped myself, in a split second of sanity…

This is it, Sarah. This is what it’s all about.

You’re here because you want to gain introspection into your feelings, thought process, reactions, and emotions, right?! Everything starts with the mind, if you can become mentally strong you can do anything, remember?

Imagine being able to filter through the BS stories your mind tells you out of fight or flight fear. The excuses. The self-criticism. The self-doubt. The second-guessing of self-worthiness and confidence in your own ability. #perfectionistproblems

So there I was, face to face with my very own worst nightmare, my mind…

What is Vipassana?

Vipa-whaaat? Don’t worry I thought the same. Here’s the low down:

Vipassana (insight meditation) is the ultimate expression of Socrates’ dictum, “know thyself.”

Vipassana is one of India’s most ancient meditation techniques. Long lost to humanity, it was rediscovered by Gotama the Buddha more than 2500 years ago. The word Vipassana means seeing things as they really are. It is the process of self- purification by self-observation. One begins by observing the natural breath to concentrate the mind. With a sharpened awareness, one proceeds to observe the changing nature of body and mind and experiences the universal truths of impermanence, suffering, and egolessness. This truth-realization by direct experience is the process of purification. The entire path (Dhamma) is a universal remedy for universal problems and has nothing to do with any organized religion or sectarianism. For this reason, it can be freely practiced by everyone, at any time, in any place, without conflict due to race, community or religion, and will prove equally beneficial to one and all.

What Vipassana is not:

• It is not a rite or ritual based on blind faith.
• It is neither an intellectual nor a philosophical entertainment.
• It is not a rest cure, a holiday, or an opportunity for socializing.
• It is not an escape from the trials and tribulations of everyday life.

What Vipassana is:

• It is a technique that will eradicate suffering.
• It is a method of mental purification which allows one to face life’s tensions and problems in a calm, balanced way.
• It is an art of living that one can use to make positive contributions to society.

Vipassana meditation aims at the highest spiritual goals of total liberation and full enlightenment. Its purpose is never simply to cure physical disease. However, as a by-product of mental purification, many psychosomatic diseases are eradicated. In fact, Vipassana eliminates the three causes of all unhappiness: craving, aversion, and ignorance. With continued practice, the meditation releases the tensions developed in everyday life, opening the knots tied by the old habit of reacting in an unbalanced way to pleasant and unpleasant situations.

Although Vipassana was developed as a technique by the Buddha, its practice is not limited to Buddhists. There is absolutely no question of conversion. The technique works on the simple basis that all human beings share the same problems and a technique that can eradicate these problems will have a universal application. People from many religious denominations have experienced the benefits of Vipassana meditation, and have found no conflict with their profession of faith.

The Buddha discovered that the cause of suffering can actually be erased when we see our true nature. This is a radical insight. It means that our happiness does not depend on manipulating the external world. We only have to see ourselves clearly— a much easier proposition (but in the ultimate sense, knowing oneself with clarity reveals there is no permanent self, as the Buddha taught).

Vipassana is an on-going rational method for purifying the mind of the mental factors that cause distress and pain. This simple technique does not invoke the help of a god, spirit, or any other external power, but relies on our own efforts. Observation of the moment-to-moment experience cleanses the mental layers, one after another.

Insight meditation is concerned with the present moment— with staying in the now to the most extreme degree possible. It consists of observing body (rupa) and mind (nama) with bare attention.

The word “vipassana” has two parts. “Passana” means seeing, i.e., perceiving. The prefix “vi” has several meanings, one of which is “through.” Vipassana-insight literally cuts through the curtain of delusion in the mind. “Vi” can also function as the English prefix “dis,” suggesting discernment— a kind of seeing that perceives individual components separately. The idea of separation is relevant here, for insight works like a mental scalpel, differentiating conventional truth from ultimate reality. Lastly, “vi” can function as an intensive, in which case “vipassana” means intense, deep, or powerful seeing. It is an immediate insight experienced before one’s eyes, having nothing to do with reasoning or thinking.

Vipassana Meditation centers are located all over the world with over 350 centers in total (150 in India). The course meditation and discourse are exactly the same at every center as they are shown in audio/movie form presented by Goenka himself. The only aspects that differ in your experience are the location, environment, sleeping arrangement, food, assistant teachers, and volunteer servers. 

How Does It Work?

1. Enroll in a 10-Day course online via the Dhamma website (plan in advance, usually the waitlist is long). There are over 350 centers across the world, so take your pick! Being a first-timer, you will enroll as a “New Student”.
2. Once you’ve filled out the application form, you can wait a few days for the center to email you regarding your acceptance.
3. No phone or in-person interviews take place. Once you are accepted you can start preparing!

Vipassana Benefits:

1. Increased Self Awareness (which I believe to be the most powerful tool in life).
2. Purification of the weeds of the mind (limiting belief systems & negative thought patterns).
3. Remaining Equanimous ~ Equanimity is accepting all outcomes be it good or bad. So when you have a nice enjoyable experience you don’t cling or become attached to. Likewise, with bad experiences, you do not avert them. Accept everything as it is remaining equanimous.
4. Learn the very useful Art of Understanding Impermanence of all things.
5. Greatly improved mental health: lower stress, anxiety, depression, etc.
6. Broadens your perspective – Within the course, Goenka tells a story about 6 blind men. “Six blind men were asked to determine what an elephant looked like by feeling different parts of the elephant’s body. The blind man who feels a leg says the elephant is like a pillar; the one who feels the tail says the elephant is like a rope; the one who feels the trunk says the elephant is like a tree branch; the one who feels the ear says the elephant is like a hand fan; the one who feels the belly says the elephant is like a wall; and the one who feels the tusk says the elephant is like a solid pipe. All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently is that each one of you touched the different parts of the elephant. So, actually the elephant has all the features you mentioned.” This is a great metaphor for life.
7. Deep, super restorative, restful sleep every night.
8. Powerful insights into the inner workings of the mind.
9. Powerful intuition, accurately guiding you through life.
10. Helps develop a resilient & positive mindset for personal and professional success.
11. Quieting down of “mind chatter”, resulting in an “unshakable” inner peace.
12. Feeling more connected to all living things, with more love and compassion.
13. Enhanced brain power, memory, and cognitive recall.
14. Clear, lucid thought, with super levels of creativity.
15. Access to your super-powerful subconscious mind.
16. Incredible mental, emotional, and physical healing by releasing trauma.

Although you will see many life-changing positive changes after one Vipassana course, it’s important to note that Vipassana, like most things in life, is a practice. You won’t see these amazing results overnight. The journey to self-actualization never ends and for those who show up daily for themselves and their personal growth, these people will reap what they sow with the benefits listed above.

Why Did You Voluntarily Participate in Such a Course?

“Rule your mind, or it will rule you.” ~ Horace

It’s been a long time comin’. Vipassana has been on my bucket list for 2.5 years simply because:

Suffering, fear, disease, guilt, anxiety, depression, misery, success, contentment, enlightenment, happiness, fulfillment, gratitude – everything starts as a seed in your own mind.

Vipassana is a technique that teaches you how to purify your mind to a perfect computer.

Purified mind = strong disciplined mind.

Strong disciplined mind = happy, fulfilled, inspired, creative, positive Sarah who can get through anything life throws at her. When you learn to filter out the BS in your life you make space for all the amazingness awaiting you.

For example, wise folk says that non-resistance, nonjudgement, and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living.

Vipassana teaches you the art of all three through personal experiential learning which I appreciate because I like to experiment for myself before subscribing to any sort of practice.

Basically, I want to be walking on a cloud of pink fairy floss unaffected by the unavoidable impermanence of change in life. And this is the best way to learn how to do so.

Real wisdom is recognizing and accepting that every experience is impermanent. With this insight, you will not be overwhelmed by ups and downs. And when you are able to maintain an inner balance, you can choose to act in ways that will create happiness for you and for others. Living each moment happily with an equanimous mind, you will surely progress toward the ultimate goal of liberation from all suffering. ~ S. N. Goenka

Schedule: A Day in the Life

The course (it’s not a retreat) is free (donation-based), even the lodging and food! But trust me when I say you work for it. I never thought meditation could require so much awareness, energy, concentration, and focus. After 1-2+ hours of meditation, we’d often have a 5-minute break. *In saying that it’s free, please keep in mind that they do rely on participating students to donate so they can run the course for the next round of people. Kinda like paying it forward – I always donate generously*

4 am ~ Wake-up bell

4:30 am – 6:30 am ~ Morning meditation

6:30 am – 7 am ~ Breakfast break (#1 highlight of the day)

7 am – 8 am ~ Rest (#2 highlight of the day)

8 am – 9 am ~ Group Meditation in the hall (for this hour you attempt to remain still and not move for the entire hour)

9 am – 11 am ~ Meditation (Usually the same as group meditation in the hall)

11 am – 11:45 am ~ Lunch (favorite part of the day – lunch was always delish)

11:45 am – 1 am ~ Rest (Also a highlight of the day, I’d usually sleep)

1pm – 2:30 pm ~ Meditation

2:30 pm – 3:30 pm ~ Group Meditation

3:30 pm – 5 pm ~ Meditation

5 pm – 5:30 pm ~ Tea Break (Usually chai, rice popcorn, and bananas)

5:30 pm – 6pm ~ Rest

6 pm – 7 pm ~ Group Meditation

7 pm – 8:30 pm ~ Discourse

8:30 pm – 9 pm ~ Meditation

9 pm – 9:30 pm ~ Questions with the teacher

Food Menu

Simple & delicious, vegetarian Indian style buffet style.

Breakfast

Usually Banana, Chai, and one of the following: Indian style porridge, yellow rice mix with unknown white sauce, rice cups with sauce.

Lunch

Two vegetarian curry’s (eggplant, cauliflower, chickpea, potato)

White Rice

Soup

Cucumber & carrot slices

Chai

Tea Break

Chai

Rice popcorn

Banana

Highlights // Lowlights: My Day to Day Experience

The mind spends most of the time lost in fantasies and illusions, reliving pleasant or unpleasant experiences and anticipating the future with eagerness or fear. While lost in such cravings or aversions, we are unaware of what is happening now, what we are doing now therefore rarely living in the present moment. ~ S. N. Goenka

Day 0 – Is it too late to back out?

I left my little zenpod (UrbanPod Hotel) in Mumbai at 10 am so I could arrive and register before lunchtime as the center recommended. Of course, the Indian Uber driver spoke little to no English so yet again I was making good use of my smiling and nodding “no idea what he’s talking about but I can’t be bothered making a scene” technique. 1.25 hours later the Uber driver pulled up to a large gate with a bunch of Hindu words on it, a wide running river on the left-hand side.

Registration was simple enough, they spoke English and although being unorganized and flustered at the early 4 people trying to register, we all made it in the end hah.

I chose some sheets and followed the cutest elderly Indian lady as showed me to my room. As we walked on a small brick path past the Dhamma Hall I noticed that females and males spaces are totally separate. Living quarters, and dining hall.

Lunch in the dining hall I ate with the teacher and his family. They offer me their homemade brought food including sweet roti… winning.

Day 1 – Finding My Bearings

After a horrible night’s sleep on what felt like the airport floor again, I woke up to the 4 am bell alarm thinking I was dreaming. Noooo it can’t be time to get up already…

Yep, sure enough.

6:30 am Breakfast break finally rolled around. On the menu, we had Indian style porridge, bananas, and chai.

The rest of the day followed smoothly as the excitement levels fueled the enthusiasm/ability to get through the day. Surprisingly the no talking part was easy, it was the sitting down for so long part that was killing me…

Resistance began – knees, hips and lower back were all starting to hurt. Fidgeting. Random itches and sensations started popping up.

Monkey mind in full swing – concentration and focus were nowhere to be seen. I was going in and out between awareness and fantasy. It was like the best brainstorming session of my life! Brilliant ideas and visions were flowing in like a river. Sometimes I caught myself smiling as I was deep in a daydream fantasy of the future.

Someone let out a loud fart after lunch and that was the end of me, I couldn’t stop giggling. Mostly because I was thinking of a time when someone farted in a similar setting -Bikram yoga class and my sister and I was hysterical. Very mature.

I pulled my self together and conquered the rest of Day 2’s meditations.

Day 2 – Monkey Mind On The Loose

After a few power naps yesterday and a better night’s sleep, I woke up somewhat refreshed and motivated ready to tackle the day. My morning routine was to wake up, toilet, drink water, wash face and teeth, get dressed, a couple of minutes of breathwork, and go.

At 4 am the night sky is still shining bright, one by one I hear people walking slowly and silently past my cell to the meditation hall. Early mornings were crispy, so off I went layered in loose clothing with my recently acquired silk Indian scarf wrapped around my shoulders.

The early morning meditation seemed quicker than yesterday. At that point, I was still likely half asleep and lingering between a sleepy consciousness phase of dreaming and conscious hangry Sarah waiting for breakfast.

The daydreaming continued throughout the day. Memories from my past arose that I hadn’t thought about perhaps since the event happened. Good memories, bad experiences, regret, why-did-I-do-that’s, they all came up to say hello and I let the emotions release from my mind and body in the honorable forgiveness of myself and others.

Another challenging day overall, with body aches, exhaustion, emotional rollercoaster, difficulty focusing on the meditation technique at times, and frustration with myself for not being able to focus.

Day 3 – Brain Dump

I was now so mentally and physically exhausted I was sleeping like a baby at night and through the lunch and tea break.

Day 3 morning came around and it became apparent that I wasn’t the only one dancing with the challenges of Vipassana. I’m unsure of exactly how many, but at least 6 people had left the course because their empty meditation cushions lay empty on the floor. They obviously couldn’t hack it. Including two foreigners, a traveling couple who’d arrived late so I never had the chance to speak to them.

Today more than ever, my visions were gushing in. I felt like the floodgates were opened and I was downloading past experiences I needed to revisit, feel through the emotions, and let the wounds heal so I could move on.

I was (finally) starting to truly understand the technique and what the heck Goenka was talking about with impermanence and attachment. I enjoyed his guidance and the chanting music throughout the meditations although, with his Burmese/Indian accent, it took a little more effort to deeply listen. I felt an enhanced connection and easier to get into my flow meditation state when he was talking.

After nearly 3 days of practice, I could now do 3 slow whole-body scans without losing focus! A huge accomplishment for me at the time. It gave me the confidence and determination I needed to continue building on that number.

Day 4 – Give Up or Trust The Process?

Day 4… nearly halfway through the course and I slept through the 4 am alarm, I must have been so tired because a server came knocking on my door at 4:45 am. Oh boy. I awoke immediately, completely disillusioned wondering where I was. It took me 30 seconds to realize. I opened the door, apologized, and assured her I’d be there in a few minutes.

After running to the meditation center in torrential rain, I sheepishly stumbled through the crowd of meditators to my seat located near the front. I can’t believe I was late *insert cry face*

From the moment I sat down, I knew this day was going to be a long one.

How we start the day often reflects how to rest of the day unfolds, and for this particular day, it was spot on.

I couldn’t get comfortable.

My mind was drifting anywhere but where I wanted it to.

I started missing my boyfriend a lot, wishing I was at home cuddled up in bed with him.

I was hungry all afternoon craving healthy western food. Salad. Vegetables. Smoothies. And falafel burgers!

I considered for a brief moment or two (more than once) about giving up and going back to Mumbai early.

But, giving up means voluntarily failing. And failure is never an option for me. Pivot & persist.

Pivot my mindset – repeat my gratitude list, affirmations, acknowledge how much I’m learning about myself, how proud I’ll be when I finish this, and remember tomorrow is a brand new day.

Day 5 – Trancendance

Calm after the storm.

Something miraculous happened on Day 5. They say that something beautiful and full of light appears in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds (negative thoughts) may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and hope.

It’s like the universe rewarded me for weathering the storm of yesterday’s break down and sticking to my values in finishing things that I start. Yesterday was a test of strength.

I woke up refreshed & revitalized after a crazy night of deep sleep dreaming. Somehow I was used to my cement bed by now and my tiny moldy cell had become home for the time being. The atmosphere was so damp that even the summer clothes in my suitcase from Sri Lanka were growing mold on them every couple of days meaning I had to hand wash them in my breaks to avoid staining. Yeah, no worries universe – I didn’t want to rest and sleep in my break anyway.

Today felt different from the moment I woke up.

I felt like an energizer bunny ready to run a marathon, but instead, I funneled that energy into balls eye focus in my meditation technique.

The day flew by, and I didn’t feel the need to sleep in my breaks at all today. Instead, I tried a walking meditation around the small female living quarters carefully living in the present moment of each slow step.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I had nowhere to be, and no-one to see, look after or answer to. I was invincible in the sense that I was untouchable (and unreachable! Being a Personal Assistant is demanding & exhausting).

I was living in my Vipassana bubble for the next 5 days and that’s all that mattered at that moment.

I had truly surrendered all control (I was a perfectionist control freak at the time) and tasted my first experience of trusting the universe and the process of life in all its glory.

Whata feeling!!! By 9 pm, I returned to my cell floating on cloud 9. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. The feeling of accomplishment and the opening of a new chapter for me:

F R E E D O M

Day 6 – Is this what true mind silence sounds like?

Halfway, baby! Felt good to be on the home stretch. Knowing that Day 6 had arrived ignited a fire in me to make the most of the last few days.

That’s not to say there weren’t restless ups and downs throughout the day, but finally, the technique clicked in my brain and despite the ocean of egoic distraction I could rein in my mind quickly & without judging myself.

Today was the day I experienced true silence for the first time in life. It’s like my mind had brain dumped all it could for now, and it has surrendered to the Vipassana technique. The session before lunch I was weightless. Completely absorbed in the seductive emptiness between time and space.

I think they call this, the flow state. Action and awareness merge when you become totally absorbed in what you’re doing.

Day 7 – 10… I don’t want to ruin any surprises!

So I’ll be cheeky and leave these days open to your imagination.

Each day presented its own mental, emotional, and physical challenges. Sometimes I’d get distracted for 30 minutes and become frustrated with myself for getting distracted. Other times I’d be on a roll, managing to stay aligned for 30-60 minutes.

By now my body aches had subsided, and I was completely in a routine with how each day would unfold. The days started to go by faster from day 6. Thankfully, because I was ready for my long flight home by Day 9.

Day 10 was one of my favorite days, you’ll see why if you do the course :)

When Day 11 rolled around, we all joined for one last early morning meditation in the hall together. I did it!!

An overwhelming sense of connection, pride, and accomplishment swept over me. This morning was so beautiful I wept like a baby in that meditation hall. I felt immense gratitude for all the people around me who’d also graduated from such an extremely valuable and healing experience, and we did it together but separately. It’s an inner journey, but on Day 11, you feel like the other people meditating with you have become family… even though you’ve never spoken a word to them!

My Tips For Vipassana

Do:

1. Get clear on WHY you want to do Vipassana, what changes do you want to make in your life?
2. COMMIT COMMIT COMMIT! To do the whole course… you can do it!!!
3. Enter the course with a positive and open mind.
4. Research – plan and prepare as much as possible beforehand.
5. Arrive early on Day 0, check-in, and get settled.
6. Consider bringing comfortable sheets and pillows from home if you can.
7. Bring comfortable conservative clothes. LAYER UP!
8. Bring comfortable slip-on shoes – a MUST! (sliders, flip flops, ugg boots if cold)
9. Pack sleeping & meditation socks if you’ll be there in Winter.
10. Silicone earplugs and an eye mask are essential.
11. Bring tiger balm or alike if you have physical body issues.
12. BYO shower towel, toiletries, and everything else you need.
13. Make an effort to introduce yourself to people on Day 0.
14. Switch your data off prior to turning off your phone.
15. Consider sitting & serving at one per year as mental/spiritual/emotional maintenance…like me :)

Do NOT:

1. Let other people’s opinions dictate your decision. Everyone deserves to share their opinion, and many people have decided to do so negatively online. Each person will have their own unique Vipassana experience and be there for different reasons depending on their past life experiences and motivation. Where you do it always makes a big difference. If you’re being called to do a course – then honor that instinct and do it! PLEASE take these opinions with a pinch of salt and don’t let them sway you from one of the most beautiful & profound healing modalities I’ve ever come across.
2. Go with a friend or family member. Go alone and make this a personal journey for YOU! I recommend this purely on the basis that you’ll be distracted if you know another person sitting the curse. Your attention will be elsewhere and it may tempt you to give up, this happened to a few couples in my India course.
3. Worry about research the Vipassana technique and every little detail ahead of the course. In the end, you are wasting your time, the best way to know what to expect if to let go of any expectation and trust that you are going there for a larger purpose. Avoid building preconceived ideas and come with a virgin mind, trust me it is best!
4. Worry about not having access to your phone or electronics for 10 days. To be completely honest, it’s a breath of fresh air and will do you nothing but good in the long run. Use this time as an intentional technology detox
5. Give up! Look, there will be times when you feel like you want to give up and go home, but… keep going… it’s challenging but well worth it. What I advise you to do it to prepare yourself for this self-sabotage prior to going. Recognize that your mind wants to keep you safe and which means keeping you small. You’re destined for amazing things and by challenging yourself you’re developing resilience, strength, and incredible superpowers!!
6. Stuff yourself stupid at breakfast or lunch with FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)! Meditation is super uncomfortable if you’re too full, and you may have some surprise noises come out from your belly and bum haha
7. Disobey the Code of Discipline rules. This meditation course is strict but it is for your own good! How can you expect to discipline your mind if you can’t stick to some rules for just 10 days….? If you really aren’t going to try to give it your 100% then I suggest don’t bother going.
8. Look around the hall and compare yourself with others while meditating. It’s tempting, but this is an inner journey, and caving to self-sabotaging thoughts to compare and judge yourself won’t get you anywhere fast! Peeking around it will look like everyone is doing so much better than you, but that inner narrative story is never what you think it is. These are the thoughts we are gaining control over with Vipassana.
9. Worry if you leave the center ready to quit smoking, alcohol, toxic people, or eating meat. Listen to your heart and follow your newly enhanced intuition, it will guide you to what’s best for you.

I hope this helps you with your Vipassana journey! If you have any questions please post them in the comments :)

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